


Five Times Pietro Maximoff Was A Pain in Clint's Ass

by respoftw



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Banter, Getting Together, M/M, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-26 05:40:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3839152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Clint thought that the Maximoff twins had been put on this earth just to try his patience.</p><p>Well, not Wanda.  Wanda was a sweetheart and he’s not just saying that because he’s terrified of what she can do to him if he were to think otherwise.</p><p>Pietro, though.</p><p>Pietro is a pain in the ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Pietro Maximoff Was A Pain in Clint's Ass

**Author's Note:**

> I can't stop fic-ing these two.
> 
> Set in a hand wavey AU where there's no Laura and a certain part of the movie (you know which bit I mean) didn't happen.
> 
> I set up a tumblr: [pietrolovesclint](http://pietrolovesclint.tumblr.com)

Sometimes Clint thought that the Maximoff twins had been put on this earth just to try his patience.

Well, not Wanda.  Wanda was a sweetheart and he’s not just saying that because he’s terrified of what she can do to him if he were to think otherwise.

Pietro, though.

Pietro is a pain in the ass.

“Stop grumbling, old man.  I did you a favour.”

Clint grits his teeth as the cocky Eastern European accent pushes him closer to the edge.  Pietro is swaggering through the halls of Avengers HQ after their latest mission debrief, still insisting that he was just trying to help Clint out by swooshing in and taking the kill shot that Clint had spent four hours sitting in a tree waiting for.  In the pouring rain. 

His fingers twitch on the handle of his bow and it’s only the warning red twinkle in Wanda’s gaze that stops him from putting an arrow in the brat right here and now.  Not anywhere fatal, just somewhere that would hurt.

The thought of wiping that smirk of Pietro’s face is sometimes the only thing that gets Clint through the day.  He’s managed to refrain up until now.  One day, though, Wanda won’t be there to stop him and that day will be glorious.

Clint keeps quiet and shoulders past the less appealing twin as he calms himself  by imagining that day.

*

Clint knows there’s a pool going on when he’ll finally snap and put an arrow in the kid. 

Natasha told him, looking for insider information so she could win no doubt.

He’s pretty sure Tony must have money on today being the day because why else would he have decided to get Pietro drunk?

They’d realised pretty early on in their acquaintance with the twins that Pietro’s metabolism burned through energy incredibly quickly.  Including, and this was the biggest tragedy in the world in Tony’s eyes, alcohol.  Pietro couldn’t get drunk.

Tony may have spent more time than he really should have devising a type of alcohol that would survive the Quicksilver metabolism.  And boy, did it work.

If Clint had thought Pietro annoying while sober, it was nothing on drunk Pietro.

Drunk Pietro was calmer, more lax and lazy.  Which would have been a nice change of pace but drunk Pietro was also exceptionally handsy.  And drunk Pietro seemed to think Clint needed a hug.

Clint most definitely did not need a flushed, sweaty, pleasingly firm and solid Sekovian climbing all over him.

“No! Old man! Come back!”

With a final glare at a cackling Tony, Clint headed for the safety of his quarters, away from the temptation to karate chop annoying white-haired idiots.

If Natasha claims that he was smiling as he listened to a whiny Pietro plead with him to come back then she was lying and has absolutely no proof to say otherwise.

*

Clint has spent the past far-too-many years of his life being patient.

He's made his living as a field agent, made his name as an operative who will get the job done no matter what it takes. He was legendary in the SHIELD offices for his self-control, his single mindedness when it came to missions.

Which is probably a big part of the reason that Pietro manages to wind him up so easily. The kid doesn't know how to sit still. Clint is _this_ close to knocking the hyperactive little shit out just so he can focus on the task at hand.

He'll be having words with Cap later for pairing them up on this mission.

In his head, he knows it makes sense. Hawkeye and Quicksilver are on lookout, Clint has the eagle eyes and skill to spot when their target approaches and Pietro can run off to warn the others.

“Why do I have to be here? You could just radio us when the man arrives and I could be with the rest of them actually doing something besides sitting on my ass.”

See, this is another reason that Pietro is a pain in the backside – he doesn't listen.

“First up, brat, if you'd have listened to Cap you would have heard him say that this all electronic communication in this area is blocked by a doo daa so advanced that even Stark didn't have time to crack it and second, I've yet to see you be still enough to sit on your ass. Stop pacing and just sit your ass down.”

As Pietro makes blah blah blah noises at him and scoffs at the use of the phrase 'doo daa', Clint only stops from nocking an arrow and aiming it at him when he suddenly gets an image of Wanda wagging her finger at him.

He has no idea if it's his imagination or Wanda could actually tell what he was about to do but he thinks it's probably better to play it safe.

*

Goddamnit, Clint is going to kill the kid when ~~(if)~~ they find him.

It was supposed to be a simple speed and grab. The kind of thing that Pietro claims to be able to do blindfolded, with a raging hard-on (and Clint did _not_ choke on his beer when that was said, no matter what everyone else may tell you).

It was supposed to be easy. But now Quicksilver isn't responding to comms and Scarlet Witch is losing it and Clint has this funny feeling in his chest like something has been ripped out.

He runs through the building, firing arrows at the bad guys on auto pilot as he makes for Pietro's last known location.

He hears him before he sees him. The familiar grunts and groans of Pietro locked into a fight with someone. Any feeling of relief is stamped down quickly with annoyance that the kid was obviously well enough to fight but still neglected to answer his comms or Wanda's calls.

As he rounds the corner, arrow already heading towards his target he stops dead as he takes in a bloody and battered Pietro struggling to remain standing.

Clint is immediately aware that something is very wrong. He doesn't think he's ever seen the younger man move so slowly. Even when Pietro is going at normal speed there's an energy about him that catches your eye. Like you know that he was built to go at super speed and any moment all you will see is a blur.

That energy is gone, probably the result of the ugly collar around Pietro's neck, and for the first time Clint misses it. He misses the kinetic, vibrant energy that normally exudes from Pietro. It seems so wrong to see him so still.

Pietro's eyes are dull as they meet Clint's. “It took you long enough,” he coughs wetly as he collapses into Clint's arms.

They get the collar off a few days later and Pietro springs back to normal, as if nothing had happened.

As Clint watched the brat act like his usual jack ass self, he realises that he has no desire at all to shoot him with an arrow.

*

The betting pool was won by Bruce.

He'd come back from his Carribean retreat, took one look at Clint and Pietro and put all his money down on the two men overcoming their differences and oh boy, had it paid off for him.

As Clint lies writhing underneath the hard, strong lines of Pietro, he can't help but chuckle when he thinks about how easily the kid used to rile him.

Pietro's head lifts up from where he was sucking bruises onto Clint's chest as he asks “What's so funny?”

“Just remembering what a pain in my ass you used to be.”

Pietro's eyebrows disaappear under his mop of white hair as he sniggers.

“I can still be a pain in your ass, if you like. Turn over.”

Clint rolls his eyes in disgust at the line. See, this sort of thing would have had him reaching for his bow not that long ago.

Now though? He's found that it's infinitely more fun to just go with it.

  
  


  
  



End file.
